Until 0:40 the drawings were good, but it looked too much like cut out animation. You can improve that e.g. by increasing the size of the character at 0:12 as she moves towards the camera. This would give a more 3D feeling.
The voice over had too much pathos for my taste.
But after 0:40 the animation is top notch: Well drawn lights and shadow, good timing and fluid animation. Keep that up! Some professional studios produce worse stuff than that.
Thank you very much. Appreciate the feedback and the kind words. The encouragement means a lot.
You have a story that works well on its own without pictures. And then you have drawings that are capable of telling a story on their own. But by putting them together you make it worse.
E.g. the narration tells about the candle that the viewer has been seeing for several seconds. This adds redundancy and makes it more boring.
Trust your drawings to tell the story as far as possible and only narrate what they don't show.
Cheers Rotten-Carrot - that's some really helpful feedback!
I agree that it's definitely "over-narrated" in some areas. I'm hoping to find the ideal 'balance', but it may take some time. Thanks again for the critique!
The music is great.it bullds up tension.
It would be a good choice for the opening credits of a thriller or sci-fi movie.
But the videoclip just looks like these automatically created visuals of an mp3 player. So no points here.
The basic idea of a credit card as a genie is nice.
The arc at 0:05 as a symbol for the workplace doesn't work well. Something more obvious would be better.
The animation has a couple of flaws like a sliding walk cycle but overall nothing to be embarrassed about.
Thank you - Much appreciated!
I've moved on and don't think I'll ever update, but if I do, any suggestions for "more obvious" in the workplace?
You do a good job generating a weird atmosphere with the music. Dialogue is also great.
From a technical point: The characters lack some contrast from the background. You could improve this e.g. by giving them a higher colour saturation than the background and/or by adding blur to the background.
Thank you very much for your constructive review ! For the creation of this short "movie", the atmosphere was my first preoccupation (with the audio). I'll keep your advices in mind for my next try !! ;)
The story is not my cup of tea but the execution (blocking, animation) is excellent. Also a good choice of shading and colours. Which software did you use for the animation?
The basic idea of the story (some mutations... survivors...fight) is worn out imho.
Thanks for the compliments :) I am using Autodesk Maya for the animation.
Yeah, the basic plot is quite simple and similar but as the story move on, things will be more interesting.
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